It sucked. Fuck, did it ever suck, and Sparkle was clinging and nodding and didn't know. Didn't know what would make this better, because right now it felt a bit like he was drowning and he just wanted that to go away and it wasn't going to. Not for a long while.

"Dunno," he mumbled. "Dunno what I need right now, Jack. Wasn't ready for this and I need to be, you know? I need to be ready for fucking war, and I'm not any good at being a fucking victim but I'm gonna have to be. I can't afford not to be. And I just..."

He just.

This hurt.

He hadn't even started yet, and this hurt.