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MCA #4, Tuesday Evening
Sparkle was frowning at his phone as he looked, not for the first time, at the text that Atton had sent him yesterday. It said, ever so helpfully, a nice, straightforward, NOT DEAD. Sparkle, being Sparkle, had texted back and equally straightforward, ASSHOLE. Because goddammit, Atton, you didn't have to fucking scare him like that, okay?
At least today he had a pretty good distraction all lined up. Company to cook for, which meant that he was at least somewhat distracted from his worry by things that needed to be chopped and simmered and actually watched, because like hell he was going to burn down the apartment the very first time he decided to cook something for Leto.
It wasn't anything super fancy. Not really. He was a decent cook but he was no Dr. Lecter or anything, after all. And honestly, he didn't trust himself enough tonight to try anything more complicated than a pasta dish. But spaghetti was hard to mess up, and chorizo made anything good. Mostly anything good. It definitely made spaghetti good, anyway.
He looked at his phone again and screwed up his face at it before he tucked it back into his pocket. Leto would probably be here soon, and there was sauce to stir.
[OOC: Expecting one!]
At least today he had a pretty good distraction all lined up. Company to cook for, which meant that he was at least somewhat distracted from his worry by things that needed to be chopped and simmered and actually watched, because like hell he was going to burn down the apartment the very first time he decided to cook something for Leto.
It wasn't anything super fancy. Not really. He was a decent cook but he was no Dr. Lecter or anything, after all. And honestly, he didn't trust himself enough tonight to try anything more complicated than a pasta dish. But spaghetti was hard to mess up, and chorizo made anything good. Mostly anything good. It definitely made spaghetti good, anyway.
He looked at his phone again and screwed up his face at it before he tucked it back into his pocket. Leto would probably be here soon, and there was sauce to stir.
[OOC: Expecting one!]
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Still...
"So, uh, I know it's silly to ask if you'll keep visiting when you're standing right here..."
But see above re: abandonment issues.
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He guessed, however, the reason for the question. It was a sign of trust that Sparkle asked. "I don't make new friends often and it would be stupid of me not to visit them," he added, hoping that would be comforting, and squeezed the arm he had wrapped around Sparkle tighter.
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"I figured that was what you'd say," he decided. "Sometimes I guess it's just good to hear."
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Sparkle's question made him think though, and after considering it for a moment, he added: "Is something bothering you?" There was, he knew that, with a friend dead and Atton missing, but he was referring more to other things, and hoped Sparkle would understand what he meant.
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"Kind of? I mean, I guess. I know it isn't something that's really... like..." He frowned, trying to put words to it. Leto was one of those people on the very short list of people that Sparkle didn't want to lie to, but that didn't make it any easier to admit out loud. "Fuck, I don't even know how to explain it without sounding needy. And I'm not that. God, I am so not that. I just overanalyze things sometimes. Look at all the ways the good things might fall apart. You expect the worst, you can't be disappointed. Even if you know better, I guess. Hard habit to break."
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What Sparkle described was very familiar, although not as much from his own experiences as from all the memories inside. Fear of loss had followed humanity for a long time, after all.
And there had been his father.
"What did you lose that you don't want to lose again?" Leto asked. The more abstract response wasn't hard to guess, but Leto wondered if Sparkle wanted to share the details.
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It was such a simple answer, but there it was. His family had been a mess, had been an absolute disaster before he'd been taken away and put into foster care, but he'd had siblings. He'd had people he could look up to, and then he hadn't. And it had been so long ago he might not even know their faces to see them if he ran into them on the street in broad daylight, and he didn't think for a second that they'd know him, either. But for most of his life after then he'd been alone. Now that he wasn't, he was still trying to trust that it might even stay that way, this time.
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"I think that kind of loss never leaves you completely," he said, now thinking about his father. "But it doesn't determine the future." He kissed Sparkle lightly again, because he could think of no other way to offer comfort.
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And there, that was his weird little random bit of insight for the day.
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Spending time with Sparkle had now come to span the range from shameless flirting to sharing very personal things. Well, Sparkle had done the latter, Leto hadn't really.
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Leto was a surprise too, though maybe not in quite the same way.
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Sparkle never asked him questions beyond what he assumed he asked of other friends, Leto thought, which made it easy not to talk about the things that bothered him the most. He should do that eventually, although probably not today.