myownface | MCA #4, Wednesday Morning

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MCA #4, Wednesday Morning

Sparkle had spent yesterday on a mission. A sort of home-base mission that had involved interspersing half-assed attempts at going through his usual daily routine with actual research, and now he had three destinations picked out; Nar Shaddaa was the obvious one. Something familiar where they could just go and get lost for a while, maybe do some drinking, make some bad life choices. The second, some mostly aquatic Outer Rim resort world, one that Sparkle had admittedly just chosen by closing his eyes and pointing at a list of resort planets. And the third? Just... empty space somewhere Mid Rim, not necessarily near anything in particular, but near enough to something in general that they could theoretically just pick a direction, go, and find something to do once they got there.

Armed with those three destinations, he was making his way to Atton's bedroom door, raising a fist, and knocking. Hard.

"Hey, Atton! Get your ass out of bed! Tomorrow's another stupid family and togetherness holiday and I fully intend to drag you up to your fucking ship and make you fly it somewhere before anybody thinks to invite us to dinner!"

Also, he was worried about you, Atton. Also that.

[OOC: For the one!]

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Yes, and Sparkle was going to take that admission and cuddle it close within his heart of hearts anyway.

"I mean, it was only that one... two... then I guess there was the guy in LA while I was out with every magical girl on the island..." Sparkle frowned a little. "Yeah, okay, point taken."

"You're just lucky you attract superpowered badasses like some kind of..."

Atton tried to think of an Earth simile. Failed. Tried again. Failed. Tried a third time.

"...lightbulb around a bunch of moths."

Sparkle smiled crookedly.

"Like moths to flame," he offered. "The saying is 'moths to flame.'"

And then he blew out a sigh.

"Been meaning to ask if we can get back to doing that," he noted. "The fighting thing. Like, Leto shows me how to work with knives when I'm around him and Kaidan's been threatening to teach me and Hernando how to fight, probably mostly for Hernando's sake. But... you know..."

He shrugged.

Atton was Atton.

There just hadn't been a good time for it. For months, now.

Atton blinked, surprised.

"Uh, sure," he said. "Any time that's not Caritas night or the morning after, I'm good."

Sparkle nodded a little.

"It's really hard to gauge, like... where I'm actually at. Like, on a scale of Sparkle to the island, sure, but just in general. I don't exactly have a normal bar to reach for," he noted. "But then I see other people who aren't, like..." He groped around for words for a minute. "I mean, I want to be able to hold my own for longer than three seconds with people who are more competent than the assholes waiting in bars with baseball bats."

For all that he tried to compare himself to people with powers, it was most often the people without them who tripped him up and took him out.

"Because there'll probably be more of those, eventually, no matter where I'm at."

"Well, you don't just need fighting techniques, then," Atton said, relaxing as the ship found its course and took most of the work out of his hands. "It's more about outthinking the enemy than anyone else. But I'll teach you some of the Echani techniques I know; they served me well when I was taking on Force users before I was... you know... a Force user."

"That'd be good," he replied, and then broke into a little smile. "I mean, I know I'd feel better about a lot of things, anyway."

Like about Atton! Having him up and doing something else when he could be hiding in his room some more? He'd feel better about Atton.

But also, maybe he'd feel a little bit less like that kid every badass with superpowers felt personally obligated to protect at all costs.

"I mean, I'm all for anything that keeps you alive," Atton said lightly. "I just figured you were done with it. The training, I mean."

Sparkle shook his head a bit.

"I mean... shit happened."

And boy, did it ever happen. He'd avoided Coruscant for, what, two years after the whole 'Iridonic Horn' incident?

"But that just kind of... means maybe I need it even more."

"So you're better at it next time?" Atton said. "I can see that."

"So I'm better at it next time," Sparkle agreed, nodding. "So I can do more than... like... stand there crying like a fucking idiot."

It hadn't been his greatest performance, no.

"So maybe the fact that I'm the flame for a bunch of superpowered moths can, like, be more like a security blanket than Plan A, every time."

Atton processed that. Then nodded.

"All right," he said.

What else was there to say about that? It made perfect sense to him.

"Cool," Sparkle replied, and then smiled faintly. "Thanks."

A start. It was a start. For a few things, apparently.

He sat on that for a few moments, and then added, "Looking forward to it."

"Eh," Atton said.

They'd flown through the portal at some point during the past conversation. Now, he looked up and watched the stars blur in front of them.

He could sit here for a bit, it was fine.

There was a long pause as Sparkle looked out at the galaxy outside of the Hawk.

"I could do this."

A beat.

"This Galaxy. If it ever came right down to it. Give the island a middle finger and call here home. It kind of grew on me, you know? Like a fucking fungus."

You've got me, wherever you go.

"I bet I could even make myself almost actually useful."

I'll do whatever I need to.

Atton sat there for a moment longer, letting silence lay there. When he spoke, it was only in reply to the last part.

"You're already actually useful."

He could read between the lines just fine, he'd known Sparkle for a long time. But sometimes there was an implication in the lines itself that needed addressing, especially when you didn't know what to do with the rest.

Sparkle could work with that. Give Atton time to process the rest, or put it to the side. Even if they never spoke about it again, it was there now. He was aware of it.

"I mean, sometimes I wonder, man," he replied, leaning back in his seat, looking up at the ceiling. "I'm just doing what I know."

"What you know is something people need," Atton said. "I mean, I'm all for teaching you how to punch things - it'll help me sleep at night - but you've never needed that to be valuable."

He didn't need to tell Sparkle not to tell anyone he'd said anything nice.

Sparkle knew better, yeah.

He blew out a breath and then shrugged, glancing sidelong at Atton.

"I spend a lot of time feeling like I'm falling short," he said, bluntly. "Not, like, just here. Back on the island, back in Toronto. Story of my life, I guess? I kind of figure maybe if I keep getting better at... whatever... maybe I'll live up, eventually."

He wouldn't hold his breath, but hey, self-improvement was never a bad thing anyway, right?

"I mean, I'm not exactly anyone's idea of a good judge of 'having your shit together'," Atton said lightly. "But I think you're living up, anyway. Figured you should know that."

Sparkle chewed on his lip for a few seconds, processing that.

"Thanks," he replied. And then, rather than making a big deal out of it or anything, he added, "between the two of us we probably almost make, like, most of one functional guy."

Well, on the good days. They both had their bad ones. But every mostly functional guy was allowed to have a few of those too, right?

Atton considered that.

"Well, at least I get to be the handsome half," he said.

"Yeah," Sparkle replied easily. "But I'm the fun half."

Eh.

Atton sighed. He stared into hyperspace again, for a while.

"I know, okay?" he said. "I know."

Sparkle cast a quiet glance his way.

And then sighed.

"Didn't mean it like that," he noted, softly. "But I do miss you, you know."

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