myownface | MCA #4, Saturday Morning

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MCA #4, Saturday Morning

Deep breath. Exhale.

...

Deep breath.

...

Exhale.

Dial.

Deep breath.

And hit send.

Sparkle had a call to make today. One he'd been putting off since forever, and his last excuse had run out. The island was back to normal. He didn't have to worry about The Big Stuff being completely derailed because he woke up one morning underwater or he couldn't leave the house because there were dinosaurs or on account of nightmarish penance zombies. Dr. Lecter had given him the number to phone, and yeah, he knew it was Saturday and yeah he knew it was early, but he was kind of hoping he could just leave a message and wait for a phone call back on... Tuesday. Because long weekend! See? Smart. Sparkle was super smart. It wasn't procrastinating if there was Labour Day to contend with.

Somebody actually answered the phone.

"Um."

That wasn't supposed to happen.

Shit. Shit shit shit.

"Hi, uh. My name is Sparkle," and ugh, he felt like he wanted to vomit just spitting out his last name, too, but he kind of had to in this case. "Dr. Lecter suggested I call you. Yeah. Dr. Hannibal Lecter. He said you're probably the best lawyer for... a couple of cases I have, I guess. Yeah. Yeah, I can talk right now, sure. So..."

It was not a short phone call.

Dr. Lecter had picked a good lawyer for the job, for sure.

But by the time Sparkle had hung up the phone again, he was looking a little green. That was fine. This was fine. It was all going to go super well, and...

If anybody needed him, he was going to just be burying his face in a pillow and screaming himself hoarse.

Sparkle Vs. The Criminal Justice System was off to an excellent start.

[OOC: Open! Probably not happy! But open! TW: Both threads contain some talk of child abuse/grooming.]

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Jack took a breath and then said quietly, "Have them look at the list of every single kid that fucker ever came in contact with. Have them run the numbers of how many killed themselves. Sparkle.. It won't be zero." Beat. "I'm sorry. I know shitbirds like this. What you're saying, what he did to your brain.. it wasn't the fucking he wanted. Which means it was the power and the power to take away."

Sparkle was suddenly very glad he'd set down the olives.

Because his hands were falling to his sides and he was pretty certain his knees had turned to pudding.

"... I...."

He swallowed.

"Okay."

And he'd thought he'd sounded small before.

He didn't want to throw up. He wanted to just fade away.

"That game he played?" Jack added, "He wanted to make you feel worthless without him. And you're not worthless. That was never true, Sparkle, and it sure as shit ain't true now. Buddy, look how many people want to annihilate this motherfucker on your behalf. Look at how hard we want to hurt him for hurting you. You are worth a whole fucktruck full of everything to us. Like I said, he's gonna be there alone and you're going to have people bitching at you if you don't let them be there. So you look at that, Sparkle. You fucking look at it whenever you get that look on your face you're wearing right now, where you start to wonder if it's worth it, because yeah. It is. And you look at it and you see how many people care about you on their own. You never had to be nothin' but you for any of us. That fuck? He had to break people's brains to get them to think they cared about him and he'll still be alone in the courtroom. So you look at that and you tell me - which one of you is the worthless one?"

Sparkle breathed.

He breathed. And he nodded.

And he kind of leaned forward. To thump his forehead against Jack's shoulder.

And work, again, on not just shattering and crying.

Yeah.

Yeah... he knew the game.

And it was well beyond time the game came back around to bite him.

Jack caught him by the back of his head and bonked his forehead - gently - on her shoulder a few more times. "You been through worse since him, Sparkle. Just because the island shit goes away on Monday don't make it any less a lived-in fucking experience while it's going on. You been through worse than this shithead and come out the other side and you're not gonna walk into this as a scared fucking bunny. Do you hear me? That isn't happen. You got a goddamn panther on you for a reason. You need to find a way to show this asshole your teeth."

Beat.

"Legally, shit. Beat him at his own fucking game. He's gonna look for the bunny because he never really knew who the fuck you were. He only got the parts you thought he wanted to see. So we show him who Sparkle is. Yeah?"

"We show him who Sparkle is," Sparkle agreed, softly. And then paused a moment. "I have a different rabbit in mind, anyway."

He wasn't sure if Raine would be up for testifying. For standing up there and saying to the entire room the things that Sparkle had told her in confidence. In quiet desperation.

I LOVE the man, Raine...

But she was the one who had been right there, watching it all go down. The Rabbit who had watched Sparkle pine and Lewis walk away. If she was willing, maybe... Maybe.

Dragging himself through the coals in order to spite Lewis? In order to really build a strong argument for the trial that would follow this one, too?

That was a panther move he might be up for making. Let everyone see who Sparkle was.

"Yeah?" Jack asked, "Good. All the bunnies you can bring to this party, the more the better. Every gun you got, Sparkle. We bring the A-game."

"S'right," Sparkle said, and the laugh that went with it was soft and kind of desperate all at the same time, and he thumped his forehead against Jack's shoulder again for good measure. "Gotta round up all the gunbunnies."

Raine would be thrilled about the promotion.

"I don't have many guns," he admitted, a few moments later. "But I might not need them all."

Might.

"Don't matter if you need them or don't, you bring every damn one you got just in case," Jack said firmly, "Slimeball's gonna go for every trick he can manage if his lawyer's even half awake."

Sparkle nodded a little.

"Yeah. Yeah, I know. Even if he doesn't think they'll work, he'll try them. Even if he knows he's going to lose, he's going to want to get his in before he does."

Would want to make sure Sparkle's head was good and inside-out.

"Yup," Jack agreed, "Guy like that isn't convinced he can lose. He's going to be trying to prove to himself that he's still got his hooks deep into you, that he can twist you and make you hurt or make you doubt. And you? Sparkle, you don't fucking let him. You deserve better than that."

"I'm not going to let him," Sparkle agreed softly. "I deserve better than that."

He had to repeat it. Had to commit to memory every time somebody reminded him, because that was one thing he was prone to forgetting.

"... Thanks for hearing me out, Jack," he added. Tried not to sound small.

Mostly managed it.

"This ain't something you gotta thank me for," Jack shrugged, "I'm your friend. You can talk to me about whatever you gotta talk about. I won't be much good for much of the nice happy stuff, I don't know what to do with most of that, but something like this? Shit. Even without I do for that fucker, I can help with this. I know his type. He's a predator, but Sparkle? Every single one of us, we are too. And every one of us is apex as fuck, and that includes you for all you hate to be one - when chips are down, you'll tear apart a threat to protect what's yours and buddy, you're ours. We'll help your lawyer eat that son of a bitch alive."

Sparkle nodded a little, absorbing that. Processing it. Chewing on the inside of his cheek.

Apex as fuck. Yeah, that sounded right. He had so many damn apex predators on his side, didn't he? And--

Two words caught him, punched him right in the guts and stole his breath. Such simple words, too. Not even the first time he'd heard them. But.

'You're ours.'

But he was nodding. And hiccuping a little. And clinging for dear life as he tried even harder to not cry.

He needed to hear that.

Jack had no idea what she'd said that had just undone Sparkle so.. there she was, holding him again and trying to offer what comfort she could. "Hey, man. We're here for you. I mean, I'm not even using a royal fucking 'we', I mean everyone I know who's your friend. I'm bad at this whole shit and even I know that."

Sparkle was nodding again, a little more desperately, smothering that urge to start sobbing into her shoulder and pulling in a few ragged breaths to calm himself down. He was overwrought and scared and all of this was stupid and awful and...

"Yeah," he managed. "Yeah, I know. S'fucking amazing, Jack. It's... It's good."

Even if it had been the royal fucking 'we.' But since it wasn't, even better.

Jack had had pretty much enough of this not crying bullshit. It was clear Sparkle needed to. "You know I'm not gonna care if you get my shirt all covered in snot, right? You're a fucking mess, Sparkle, quit tying yourself in a knot." She loved you, really. Also, hey, good luck getting away because she was going to pull a Kaidan and just kind of lock her arms around you and cuddle the shit out of you. "You're safe and you're gonna be okay. This is gonna suck and it's gonna fuck you up for awhile but you're gonna get through it and you're gonna be okay after it's all fucking done. You need to cry. So fucking cry. I'm here, I've got you, and it's okay."

"Yeah," Sparkle mumbled. "Yeah, but I'm... there's gonna be... I mean..."

Another hiccup.

There was going to be a lot more crying from here.

He tried to say as much.

But mostly it came out in a shaky gasp.

He couldn't cry himself numb yet. He couldn't.

He... just...

Held on for dear life.

And pulled in another breath.

And that exhale was a small whimper, and then a shuddering gasp.

And then, yes, he was crying.

"Yeah, I get it," Jack said, still holding him, "There's gonna be a whole lot of this. That don't mean you gotta be stupid about it. We're here for this too. As often as you need a shoulder, you got lots of shoulders to fuckin' choose from. This is ugly shit, Sparkle. This is going to be one ugly fucking road and you're gonna cry yourself sick over it. And that's okay, buddy. Whatever emotions you're feeling are fine, okay? It's fine. We're here. We got your back. You got our shoulders. It's okay."

Sparkle nodded. He nodded and clung to and he kind of hated this, hated breaking down and crying when nothing had even really happened yet, but he was just...

Just so much smaller than all of this.

And he wasn't alone.

And that...

"Buckle in, huh?"

Well. It was a ride he was going to strap in for one way or another, but knowing just how many people had his back was definitely not going to hurt.

Jack made sure he knew he didn't have to cling. He was held and he wasn't going anywhere even if he let go. She nodded, "Yeah. Buckle in. This is going to be the worst rollercoaster you've ever been on and I'd bet you been on a few in your time. This time, at least, everyone in the cars behind you is someone you know."

That analogy was dumb as hell. Whatever.

Sparkle gave a small, kind of listless laugh at that, and then raised his arms as far as they could go while still tucked under Jack's armpits.

"Wheeeee."

... He was trying.

Jack eyed him for a moment and then smirked. Letting go abruptly and stepping back, she simultaneously hit him with a low-power Lift and hiked him about two meters into the air and let him hang there. "You ask for whee, you get whee," she informed him.

Sparkle needed a second to process that his feet were no longer on the ground.

"Oh, shit!" That was a startled laugh, and then he was kicking his feet and moving his arms, pretending to swim. "What? Ha!"

WHEE.

"Yeah, funny thing, the swimming won't actually move you anywhere," Jack grinned up at him, "It's good for directional changes but not momentum. Try a somersault. That's how you move in zero gee. Once you get momentum, you can keep going. Hard to stop, though. Right now, you're not really in zero gee, you just kind of are zero gee. Your mass changed, not the gravity around you. Way harder to move because you're still fighting the weight of the air around you."

MCA #4, Saturday Morning

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