myownface | Nar Shaddaa, Monday Morning

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Nar Shaddaa, Monday Morning

"Shit, do you think we lost them?" Sparkle's (admittedly very stupid) question had been answered pretty immediately as the hot white glow of a blaster shot just barely missed his head. He squawked and ducked down low before turning wide eyes to Atton. "We haven't lost them."

In case Atton needed the update. Odds were pretty good that he didn't. They'd come to Nar Shaddaa because on some pollen-warped desperate level it had seemed more appealing than Baltimore, what with its distance from Fandom and tendency toward questionable morals and its Twi'leks. Possibly mostly for the Twi'leks. And this had turned out to be a very good idea for them both for a while. Right up until they found out, and not for the first time around here, that perhaps they had been getting a little too comfortable with the wrong Twi'leks.

So, now there was a Hutt mafia boss who was extremely upset (or else bored and feeling especially vindictive, which generally worked out to the same thing when it came to the Hutts in the first place), and Sparkle and Atton were sort of being chased. Ruthlessly. Not by the Hutt, obviously. But by a handful of people who worked for him, who were all, apparently, actually pretty decent at their jobs.

"Shit. Shit, fucking shitfuck fuckshit. How is it that we always end up in the wrong place at the wrong time when we come here?"

See, that was the thing. On Nar Shaddaa, it was always the wrong place, and always the wrong time.

[OOC: NFB for distance, of course, and for that guy!]

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"Evasive's good," Sparkle decided, because he was not in the mood to get himself shot today. "I'm a huge fan of evasive!"

He was pretty sure that guy he'd been ogling just winked at him before firing off another blaster shot their way. That was it; Sparkle was so not going to try to entice him into a back room or something the next time they met in a cantina somewhere. Jerk.

... Really hot blue jerk. Sparkle wrinkled his nose at him before shooting again, missing the guy's shoulder by... actually, not much. He'd be proud of that later, if they didn't die today.

"What constitutes evasive?"

"It means hold on," Atton snapped, slamming the wheel so the speeder shot abruptly to the left. "...Are you ogling that damn Chiss while he's shooting at us?!"

"No?"

That was a damn dirty lie. But not all of the pollen was out of Sparkle's system yet, and goddamn it, there had been flirting back there before the whole shooting thing, and Nar Shaddaa sucked. But it was hard to be terribly convincing when your top priority was 'not falling ass over tit off the speeder,' and Sparkle didn't much care either way because he knew Atton would know better, and look, he was shooting again! See him shooting again?

At the guy in the speeder with the Chiss, because they were close enough now that Sparkle could get a pretty clear shot while they shot past. There was a loud and unhappy noise from the other speeder that suggested that maybe Sparkle's aim wasn't completely shitty, either.

"Well, unless you've got some brilliant plan to distract him by taking your shirt off, stop!"

Look, complaining was just kind of what Atton did. You knew that.

"What'd I just hear? Did you get one?!"

"I... I think I did," Sparkle replied, and yes, he sounded just as bewildered about that as one might expect. He sat up a little and craned his head back to look. "I got one! Oh shit I got one."

This required emotions. Sparkle was processing. Still shooting as the second speeder figured out which way it was going and started giving chase again. But Hot Chiss was pulling his speeder over to kick his dead-weight companion off, which was going to stall him for another few moments.

... Not that long.

Atton let out an irritated grunt. "You know what," he said, "How about you take the wheel?!"

"Take the- I can't even drive a car!"

They were going to die. It was pretty official now, right? Like, their options were let Sparkle shoot at people or let him drive a speeder and there was no way this was going to end well for them either way.

"It's not that hard," Atton yelled, already crawling up and out of his seat. "Just hit the throttle and keep the thing pointing forward!"

Sparkle, probably wisely, decided not to ask which one was the throttle as he made a kind of desperate lunge for the controls to straighten out the speeder again.

Okay. Okay, he could do this. He was going to swear a lot, but the first thing he hit was apparently the throttle because they were speeding up, so that was good, right?

"Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck..."

"Calm down, I've got this," Atton snapped.

And Sparkle hyperventilating wasn't going to help anybody.

Atton crawled up onto the back of the speeder. Okay, Sparkle's Chiss buddy was still lagging behind, but the other flunkies were right on their tail. He aimed and fired, landing several easy bolts dead in the center of the enemy speeder, which started smoking alarmingly.

A moment later, it plunged.

"I am completely fucking calm!"

Okay, not at all true. But there was one less speeder in the chase now, so that helped a little. A lot? It was helping, since the one guy still on their tail was far enough back that so long as Sparkle kept on the throttle, he could at least take a few deep breaths or something.

See? Completely fucking calm. Or at least not driving them into any buildings, which was good too.

Atton sucked in a deep breath. Mostly for his own sake, since okay, his faith in Sparkle's driving skills wasn't huge.

"Just keep this going straight, all right?" he said, narrowing his eyes as he tried to get a good shot going at Sparkle's Chiss friend. "Just got to take down this one guy and we should be home free..."

Sparkle was still kind of shaken, otherwise he might have made some sort of 'I don't do anything straight!' quip. He'd lament not doing that later, too. Instead he just nodded, not letting himself look behind them, and kept his eyes ahead. Just keep going. Going was good. Not going into walls or other speeders or into the ground or any of that was even better.

"Got it!"

See? You could tell Sparkle's wits were running thin when that was the best he had to bring to the table.

At least he didn't shout 'pure pazaak' every five seconds?

"Okay, got him, got him..." Atton muttered.

And suddenly, the other guy's speeder took a nosedive. "...Crap, he's diving!" Not that that was going to keep the guy hidden or anything, courtesy of Jedi senses, but now he couldn't actually get a clear shot.

"What do you mean, he's diving? What the fuck do I do when someone dives?!"

Sparkle couldn't drive a car in two dimensions, how the hell was he supposed to fly a speeder in three with a guy on their tail who could fly and shoot this was not doing well for his composure.

"Do I dive too? Do I go up? Do I stop?"

"Just keep going!"

Atton had thought the stupid thing. Which meant Atton was already doing the stupid thing: clipping his blaster back to his belt and standing up on the back of the speeder.

"I-- Okay! Okay, I'm go- What the hell are you doing??"

Yes, Atton, Sparkle had done a shoulder check and now he knew you were about to do the stupid thing.

"Remember," Atton said, grabbing his lightsaber. "Straight line."

He activated the lightsaber. He held it pointed down. He waited for just another second...

...and then he stepped forward and dropped off the speeder, lightsaber-first.

"I fucking hate you so much right now," Sparkle muttered to thin air.

Because... besides continuing to drive straight ahead, there wasn't a hell of a lot else for him to do, here. Sparkle didn't even know how to land.

Atton's feet hit the Chiss's speeder exactly as planned, the lightsaber burying its way into the speeder's engine.

The Chiss was not amused, so Atton took a swing at his blaster. ... Okay, he'd say later he was going for the blaster. Removing the man's hand was completely accidental, honest.

He kicked the guy in the face, then jammed the lightsaber into the speeder again for good measure. Then he looked straight up and tried to make out where Sparkle had gone.

Not much farther than the speeder that Atton was standing on had gone, really. Sparkle was too damn paranoid to take off ahead, especially since he didn't trust himself to not die horribly on this thing without Atton around to drive. He had, at least, sort of gotten a feel for going up and down, though, so that was good? It meant that Sparkle was at least slightly closer to the ground than he had been before.

Mostly because, in Sparkle's head, the closer he was to the ground, the less distance he'd have to fall before becoming a smear down below when he inevitably creamed this thing.

Right. Well, Atton's poor, abused injuries were going to have to deal with just one more spot of pressure, as he took a final Force Leap up and right back into the passenger seat of their own speeder.

Into which he landed with a grunt, and a half-collapse. Yeah... maybe he'd overdone it a little.

"Dumbass," Sparkle muttered, sounding relieved and glancing sideways at Atton as he slumped over. "You took care of him?"

He would still find you hot with only one hand, Chiss Guy!

"Yeah, yeah." Atton shut his eyes, calling on a very brief healing trance he'd perfected over the months they'd been chasing Sith Lords around the galaxy.

When he opened his eyes again, at least he could breathe.

"Gimme the controls."

"Sure, happily," Sparkle replied, and now he was... pointedly not looking down as he shimmied back and way from anything that had anything to do with steering. "And, um, then maybe let's go hide out somewhere or go home or something."

This had been fun, in that sort of way that meant that it had really, really not been a great time.

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